WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

• Some of the ways you noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children including books, movies, toys, stores, culture of early childhood centers, and schools

With Christmas approaching I have wondered into the toy aisles at the store and I have been more aware than usual at the covert and overt messages that toy companies are sending to our children.  The pink and colorful aisles are filled with babies, Barbies, play kitchens and food, and stuffed animals.  The dark aisles are filled with cars, weapons, and action figures.  We encourage girls to be peaceful, imaginative, and nurturing.  We encourage boys to be active, protective, and aggressive. 

Even when toy companies try to market products toward girls and boys they enforce gender stereotypes such as girls only like pink and they only imagine domestic scenarios.

• Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families

First and foremost it is important, even in settings where there are no gay families, that children learn to be open and understanding when they do encounter gay or lesbian individuals or families.  And as we do not yet know the sexual orientation of young children we need to encourage a healthy development of their social identities in the present and in the future.  Just as a child who is raised in a single parent home, by adoptive parents, a foster home, step family, or by their grandparents should be made to feel like their families are accepted, so should children being raised by same sex parents feel that their experience is good and valuable. 

• How you would respond to a parent/family member who informed you they did not want anyone who is perceived (or self-reported) homosexual or transgender to be caring for, educating, and/or interacting with their child

I still feel like I need help with this question.  It is difficult to address and value a parent/family culture that is not accepting of diverse cultures.  It is important to make every family feel as though their beliefs and values are honored, but not at the expense of the feelings of others in the program.  Once upon a time I would have explained that a person's sexual orientation is personal and does not affect the programming or care of the children in the program.  However, I know now that our personal experiences do impact our perspectives and has a role in how we perceive and act with others.  It is also important to share our personal family culture as part of the classroom sharing environment, so it cannot be completely separated. 

• If you have ever used or heard homophobic terms such as "fag," "gay," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," or "lesbo" as an insult by a child toward another child? Or, by an adult toward a child? Describe what occurred. How might these types of comments influence all children? (Note: if you have not had a personal experience, ask a family member, friend, or colleague)

My husband often encounters his heterosexual and homosexual high school students using these terms.  He says that in every instance he attempts to ask the students what they are really trying to say to the other student and it is usually to refer to someone being dumb.  He then tries to bring them to make the connection that the hidden message is that gays and lesbians are dumb.  As teenagers his students often just brush him off.  Whenever we use the name of people as a negative we are saying that all people in that group are bad.  One term that I hear a lot is "you _____ like a girl."  The way that this is used says that doing something like a girl is bad or inferior.  Even when a name is used as a positive such as "tom boy" it can send the message that what you are doing is unlike your gender or not "normal."

• Any other related situations, thoughts, concerns, questions, and/or areas of discomfort you would like to share related to children, gender, and sexual orientation

When I recently listened to the NPR broadcast about how two families who were dealing with their six year old sons that identified themselves as girls it made me think about my son and anti-bias education in elementary schools (Spiegel, 2008).  Although my son does not identify himself as a girl he is not very inclined towards athletics.  He is very short and thin for his age, 11 years old.  In sixth grade the bullying has gotten severely worse.  He is harassed and excluded at school, he feels, due to his size and lack of interest in organized sports.  

When I listened to how Jonah's family has accepted their son as a girl, wearing girl clothes and playing with other girls and girl toys, I thought about how they would deal with the teasing and bullying when he goes to school (Spiegel, 2008).  This made me think about my own son and the experiences he is having.  There is a strict no bullying policy at my son's school.  I feel that this policy handles the symptoms, but does not address the reasons and feelings behind the bullying.  At my son's age he would rather put up with the bullying than tell on his classmates.  I feel that we must go beyond a no tolerance policy on bullying and address why children are intolerant in the first place.  If my son's school followed an anti-bias education the children would be led to investigate issues of injustice and those feelings behind it.  The children would be taught to see and utilize the strengths of every student and differences, such as an interest in sports or lack of, would not make a child like my son feel like less of a boy.  I am motivated to advocate for an anti-bias approach to gender issues starting in my son's school.

The following is a link to the NPR broadcast:

Spiegel, A. (2008). Two families grapple with sons' gender identity: Psychologists take radically different approaches in therapy. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/2008/05/07/90247842/two-families-grapple-with-sons-gender-preferences