CREATING AFFIRMING ENVIRONMENTS

Family Child Care Home

I think the most important part of my new family child care home would be the entrance area.  It is important to have an area that is warm and welcoming for children and their families.  This is the first area that they see when they arrive so it needs to feel like a safe place that is inviting.  It is important for me to have a space (like a sofa) where families can sit with their children and and take their time saying goodbye, as well as visit with other families.  This makes adults feel less rushed and more involved in the school community.  In this area I would also provide a space for every child to keep their belongings so that they feel as though they belong here.  It is important that they feel as though they are a member of this community.  I would also provide a space for guardians to communicate individual needs or questions for the day as well as receive daily information from me (Laureate Education Inc., 2011).  

Different play areas and materials in the classroom would first need to represent the families and cultures of children attending.  It is difficult to say in detail how this would look "because the physical environment begins with who children are, each early childhood classroom will have its own unique look" (Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards, 2010).  However, there are several key elements and materials that I feel would be included.

Dramatic play is a vital area for children to reflect on the realities of life and mimic what they see and hear while participating in pretend and make-believe worlds too.  I feel that many of the materials in this area should be real  items.  If possible include pretend food or empty food containers that represent the kinds of foods that the children eat at home.  Dress-up clothes should be open-ended such as scraps of material that is not gender specific and can be made into dresses, capes, scarves, veils, etc.  Having dress-ups be open ended helps to prevent tokenism where a piece of clothing represents an entire group of people or culture (ex. a kimono represents all people from Japan).  Dolls should represent the skin tones of the children.  I also like the idea of have a story box where children can create the dolls used as well as the furnishings of their choosing (Laureate Education Inc., 2011).

The library should be a warm and cozy place where children will want to curl up with a book.  Many books should represent the families, cultures, abilities, and economic groups in your service.  It is important to avoid books that misinform or misrepresent people.  Including books that perpetuate stereotypes about race, culture, class, abilities, and gender.  Class-made books are a great way to ensure that every child is represented.

There are some other ways to ensure a more anti-bias approach in the family child care home setting.  It is important to include music, rhymes, songs, stories, and poetry from diverse cultures and languages especially ones that represent the families in your service.  I would try to ensure that rugs, fabrics, posters, and art represent the families in my service as well.  Diversity puzzles can be purchased or they can be made with pictures taken of current families members performing different jobs, in local businesses, or with differing abilities.  Many of these ideas will also involve family participation which builds a partnership between home and school.  

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D.C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Laureate Education, Inc. (2011). Strategies for working with diverse children: Welcome to an anti-bias learning community. Baltimore, MD: Author

HOPES, GOALS, AND THANK YOU

HOPE:  My hope is that my work with anti-bias education creates a future citizens that will respect, celebrate, and fight for the equity of others.

GOAL:  My goal for the field would and for myself would be to help further the anti-bias pedagogy into the elementary early childhood years grades K-3.  This work is so vital when children truly start making friendships and either including or excluding other children based on similarities and differences.

THANK YOU to all my friends, family, and colleagues for supporting my personal and professional growth in the area of anti-bias education.  Thank you for listening to my thoughts, ideas, insights, and questions while I am working out my path along this journey of self-awareness and discovery!

START SEEING DIVERSITY

"The heart of anti-bias work is a vision of a world in which all children are able to blossom, and each child's particular abilities and gifts are able to flourish."

-Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2012

Giving children the words to express their feelings about the world they see around them and investigate the injustices of bias and prejudice helps to accomplish the following core goals of anti-bias education:

ABE Goal 1

Each child will demonstrate self-awareness, confidence, family pride, and positive social identities.

ABE Goal 2

Each child will express comfort and joy with human diversity; accurate language for human differences; and deep, caring human connections.

ABE Goal 3

Each child will increasingly recognize unfairness, have language to describe unfairness, and understand that unfairness hurts.

ABE Goal 4

Each child will demonstrate empowerment and the skills to act, with others or alone, against prejudice and/or discriminatory actions.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2012). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

WE DON"T SAY THOSE WORDS!

I was waiting in line at the grocery store when a small child asked their mother why another customer was fat.  The mother, probably embarrassed, silenced and scolded the child by whispering "shhh we don't call people fat."  Although it was not wrong to correct the child on their language (using "fat") the scolding sent the message to the child that there was something wrong with the size of that other person because it is something forbidden to talk about.  If the mother would have continued to explain in a calm and normal voice that people come in all shapes and sizes then the child would have learned the language to correctly talk about people of different weights.

When our children point out differences in others they are not necessarily putting a judgment on what they see, they are merely trying to make sense of the world and the people in it (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2012).  However, because of our own schema and bias we often see those differences as something that people are ashamed of and would not want to have people talk about.  So when our children say something about those differences aloud it is embarrassing and we quickly try to silence them or avoid real answers.  This misleads children into thinking that there is something wrong with those differences.  Derman-Sparks and Edwards (2012) explain that "to understand the differences they see around them, children need language and accurate information" (p. 33).

As anti bias educators we must be ready to respond to children's curiosity in a way that is factual and developmentally appropriate.  To do this we must willing to:

• Listen without judgement.
• Figure out exactly what the child wants to know so that we do not give too much information or over explain.
• Distinguish between curiosity and discomfort or fear.
• Answer matter-of-factly.
• Always respond, even if you have to tell them you need time to think about what to say.
• Finally, follow up with individual children or group (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2012, p.33).

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2012). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?

Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

• Some of the ways you noticed that homophobia and heterosexism permeate the world of young children including books, movies, toys, stores, culture of early childhood centers, and schools

With Christmas approaching I have wondered into the toy aisles at the store and I have been more aware than usual at the covert and overt messages that toy companies are sending to our children.  The pink and colorful aisles are filled with babies, Barbies, play kitchens and food, and stuffed animals.  The dark aisles are filled with cars, weapons, and action figures.  We encourage girls to be peaceful, imaginative, and nurturing.  We encourage boys to be active, protective, and aggressive. 

Even when toy companies try to market products toward girls and boys they enforce gender stereotypes such as girls only like pink and they only imagine domestic scenarios.

• Your response to those who believe that early childhood centers should avoid the inclusion of books depicting gay or lesbian individuals such as same-sex partnered families

First and foremost it is important, even in settings where there are no gay families, that children learn to be open and understanding when they do encounter gay or lesbian individuals or families.  And as we do not yet know the sexual orientation of young children we need to encourage a healthy development of their social identities in the present and in the future.  Just as a child who is raised in a single parent home, by adoptive parents, a foster home, step family, or by their grandparents should be made to feel like their families are accepted, so should children being raised by same sex parents feel that their experience is good and valuable. 

• How you would respond to a parent/family member who informed you they did not want anyone who is perceived (or self-reported) homosexual or transgender to be caring for, educating, and/or interacting with their child

I still feel like I need help with this question.  It is difficult to address and value a parent/family culture that is not accepting of diverse cultures.  It is important to make every family feel as though their beliefs and values are honored, but not at the expense of the feelings of others in the program.  Once upon a time I would have explained that a person's sexual orientation is personal and does not affect the programming or care of the children in the program.  However, I know now that our personal experiences do impact our perspectives and has a role in how we perceive and act with others.  It is also important to share our personal family culture as part of the classroom sharing environment, so it cannot be completely separated. 

• If you have ever used or heard homophobic terms such as "fag," "gay," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," or "lesbo" as an insult by a child toward another child? Or, by an adult toward a child? Describe what occurred. How might these types of comments influence all children? (Note: if you have not had a personal experience, ask a family member, friend, or colleague)

My husband often encounters his heterosexual and homosexual high school students using these terms.  He says that in every instance he attempts to ask the students what they are really trying to say to the other student and it is usually to refer to someone being dumb.  He then tries to bring them to make the connection that the hidden message is that gays and lesbians are dumb.  As teenagers his students often just brush him off.  Whenever we use the name of people as a negative we are saying that all people in that group are bad.  One term that I hear a lot is "you _____ like a girl."  The way that this is used says that doing something like a girl is bad or inferior.  Even when a name is used as a positive such as "tom boy" it can send the message that what you are doing is unlike your gender or not "normal."

• Any other related situations, thoughts, concerns, questions, and/or areas of discomfort you would like to share related to children, gender, and sexual orientation

When I recently listened to the NPR broadcast about how two families who were dealing with their six year old sons that identified themselves as girls it made me think about my son and anti-bias education in elementary schools (Spiegel, 2008).  Although my son does not identify himself as a girl he is not very inclined towards athletics.  He is very short and thin for his age, 11 years old.  In sixth grade the bullying has gotten severely worse.  He is harassed and excluded at school, he feels, due to his size and lack of interest in organized sports.  

When I listened to how Jonah's family has accepted their son as a girl, wearing girl clothes and playing with other girls and girl toys, I thought about how they would deal with the teasing and bullying when he goes to school (Spiegel, 2008).  This made me think about my own son and the experiences he is having.  There is a strict no bullying policy at my son's school.  I feel that this policy handles the symptoms, but does not address the reasons and feelings behind the bullying.  At my son's age he would rather put up with the bullying than tell on his classmates.  I feel that we must go beyond a no tolerance policy on bullying and address why children are intolerant in the first place.  If my son's school followed an anti-bias education the children would be led to investigate issues of injustice and those feelings behind it.  The children would be taught to see and utilize the strengths of every student and differences, such as an interest in sports or lack of, would not make a child like my son feel like less of a boy.  I am motivated to advocate for an anti-bias approach to gender issues starting in my son's school.

The following is a link to the NPR broadcast:

Spiegel, A. (2008). Two families grapple with sons' gender identity: Psychologists take radically different approaches in therapy. Retrieved from http://www.npr.org/2008/05/07/90247842/two-families-grapple-with-sons-gender-preferences 

WEEK 8 COMMUNICATION AND COLLABORATION

It was great to explore the concepts of communication and collaboration with my colleagues during this course.  I am grateful for all of your insights and diverse perspectives.  I hope to see you all again in the next course.  Good Luck!

Email me at sheancody@yahoo.com

or find me on Facebook: Tricia Jackson, Grand Rapids, MI

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

In a recent conflict it came to my attention that I had made someone feel judged by little comments that I had made.  They were insignificant taken one at a time, but over time it built up some resentment in this person against me.  The way in which this was presented to me attacked my sense of identity and also left me feeling confused about our relationship because my perception was that this was coming out of the blue.  The following are strategies that could help resolve this conflict:

•   "To resolve a conflict cooperatively, a straightforward explanation of your good intentions might be in order" (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 241).  Sharing my true intentions might make this person feel better that I am not actually judging them, but feel sorry that they are perceiving my words in that way.
• Being respectful, reciprocal, and responsive might also help in this conflict.  First, being respectful of this person's diverse perspective helps to encourage trust and to validate their feelings (Corso, 2007).  Then if we can come to a reciprocal arrangement where both of our perceptions have a voice then we can be responsive and come to some understanding in our communications (Corso, 2007).
• Nonviolent communication (NVC) tells us that we need to take the focus of the conflict off of being right or wrong and focus on building the relationship through giving and receiving interactions (The Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.).  In this situation if I avoid trying to prove that I was hurt then it takes blame out of the interaction and we can focus on what will help us build our relationship stronger. 

One of the most difficult communication skills to accomplish is expressing your feelings, wants and needs without judgement attached which is part of NVC.  I was trying so hard not to place blame on the other person in this conflict that I took on all the responsibility of the conflict.  I did such a good job of validating the other person's feelings that they felt the conflict was over.  However with my feelings not validated I felt just as hurt as I did in the beginning.  After several correspondences I felt that my feelings would never be validated and the discussion had turned to focus only on how I could change.  In the end I decided to yield.  My original feelings about taking action in this way were confirmed by Billikopft (2009) when he explains that with continual giving in to another person an "individual may stop caring and withdraw psychologically from the situation."  I feel that yielding or giving up trying to resolve the conflict will continue to make me feel disconnected from this person and prevent us from building a relationship in the future.  When you have a conflict with someone that you won't be in contact with on a regular basis is it ever good to just give up the struggle and be cordial?  We don't have to have deep relationships with every person in our life. 

References

Billikopf, G. (2009, August). Conflict management skills. Retrieved from http://cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor/13.htm

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Corso, R. M. (2007). Practices for enhancing children's social-emotional development and preventing challenging behavior. Gifted Child Today, 30(3), 51–56.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.